Blindness and Baby Puke

Sounds promising doesn't it? Not really, but I'm going to tell the story anyways. It all starts 29 years ago when I was born into a family with the worst eyesight ever. Seriously. We all wear some form of glasses or contacts, every single member of my clan, except for L, but time will tell.
I've worn glasses since I was 8, and contacts since I was 12. Its probably safe to say my eyesight is the worst. If you wear contacts you'll get this...my right eye is a -8.5 and my left -9.5; my sister is like a -3, my mom -2...so my eyes are terrible. With out my contacts or glasses I can't see anything, my alarm clock has 6 inch high numbers so I can see it at night.
Now you know how bad my eyesight is, on to a little more background info, about a year ago I went to the Lasik Eye surgeon and was told, nope, it wouldn't even help you. Okay, what would? Some new experimental procedure where we basically replace your lens. Oh and it costs about $5 grand per eye. Yeah, I'm gonna do that. So I went to my trusty eye DR, who said the reason why I had been having problems for a year, with eye itchiness and my contacts would constantly float off my eyes was because I was allergic to them. The same damn kind I've worn for like 5 years, I was now allergic to. I have HIVES under my eyelids. Gross.
So he suggests I switch to a daily contact that I can throw away every day and it would help. And he was right. These things have been awesome. Save for the fact I have to keep a stock of 700+ on hand, since I buy for the whole year.
And why not wear my glasses, you ask? Well when your eyes are as bad as mine, it means your glasses are going to be coke bottle thick and you can't get cute little wire frames or glasses like Sarah Palin. Nope, plastic is pretty much your only option. I have managed to find some cool Coach glasses that I adore, but the next problem is that I (or rather my insurance company) spends a bunch of money to sand, grind, whatever to make my lenses appear to be as thin as possible. That means I lose a bit of my perifreal (i know thats wrong, but I dont know how to spell it) vision. I look too far left or right and everything goes blurry. Not very conducive for driving. So I have to wear the contacts. Besides I have good looking eyebrows, I don't want to leave behind some thick nerd glasses.
So now you know that I am blind, now on to the baby puke part of the post.
L has been sick. She has some snot and congestion thing going on and when she starts coughing she eventually gags and makes herself sick. She figured this little trick out a while back, and she knows that if she doesn't want to go to bed she can start crying and coughing and if she starts gagging, we'll come running.
So she goes to bed last night, peacefully, and then J and I start the bedtime routine. I took out my contacts and immediately my eye started to twitch then burn. I thought I had some jalapeno juice or something on my fingers. J was holding the discarded contact ready to throw it in the trash, when I take a look at it and realize a whole chunk of it was missing, which means its still in my eyeball. I've never done that, in the 17 years I've worn contacts that's never happened. So I immediately go to the mirror on the bedroom door and start looking around and rolling my eyeball trying to find that small, slightly blue tinged piece of plastic. I'm alternating between the bedroom and the bathroom. Eventually my eye stops burning so I figure I got it out, even though I can't find it. By then J has gone to sleep and its all dark, so I start rooting around for my glasses. I felt all the bathroom shelves, then the sides of our pedestal sink and nothing. So I go back to the bedroom and root around on the dressers and side tables, and I kept coming back to J's glasses but not mine. So I figure no biggie, I'll go to sleep, when I get up in the morning I'll have time to put in my contacts before L gets up. No such luck.

At about midnight I hear some coughing from her room, then she starts the gagging, then I can practically hear the snot start to gurgle in the back of her throat, so I run in there, not even realizing I can't see squat. Of course J has the ability to sleep through all this, I guess its good we both don't, or she may have choked herself by now.
So I run in there and she's half standing half sitting by what I can tell, and she doesn't have her eyes open but shes gurgling snot everywhere, so I step in some on the floor (I know gross) and I put my hand under her mouth to catch it all, and so she knows I'm there. By then I think I realize I can't see. So I gave up and I yelled for J to get his butt out of bed and help me out. He comes running in all sleepy eyed, but at least he can see. I told him to just find my glasses and he could go back to bed, all the time I've got a fist full of baby snot and spit up. What I really didn't want was for her to full on puke. You see there is a difference between baby spit up and baby puke. Baby spit up is the stuff that never makes it down to their tummy's. It comes up looking very much the same way it did going down. Milk looks like milk, snot looks like snot (TMI , I know) but baby puke is just awful. The first time we got puke after she started eating whole foods I actually gagged, and I'm the same woman who doesn't think twice about sticking my own hands out to catch her puke, but I still gagged.
Anyways I got my glasses, was able to see to get her out of bed, stick her in the tub and get her clean PJ's and back in bed. Then I stood there and played with her for 15 minutes until I was sure she'd go back to sleep and no more coughing and gagging. We were good for the rest of the night.
When I got up the AM, I had my glasses right next to the bed, so "I could see. It's a miracle" ($5 if you can tell me what movie that's from, just kidding on the $5 but you'll have my respect).
Then I go to put in my contacts before leaving the house, and OMG the burning. I figured I still had a piece of the torn contact in my eye. So I take the contact out, attempt to put it back in the little box it came from and then tried to put in my left contact, forgetting that I had already opened in and that's the box I put the right one back into. So now I've got two contacts in the same box and I have no clue which is which. So in the trash they went. Fifty cents wasted. But I got both eyes functioning and working now. So all is good.

Wow! Long and boring story....