Weight Watchers 3.0

So I'm on a diet. I'm overweight. Always have been. In high school and college I was the chubby one, but it was never a problem. I had lots of friends, could get a date when I wanted and was in a popular and well like sorority. When I graduated from college I realized I had gained the freshman 15 and then some. No thanks to fattening beer and sugar laced alcohol. And cafeteria food. I miss taquitos.

That was my first stint with WW, and I lost 20 lbs. Not bad. Then when J and I were dating we made a habit of long walks and going to the gym, so I lost some more weight and then right before our wedding, I was probably at my lowest weight since 2000. But it wasn't for the reasons you think, like trying to squeeze into a dress. My dress fit fine. I was sick.

When I was 18 my mom found me curled up in the fetal position on the bathroom floor because my stomach hurt. At least I thought it was my stomach, I wasn't really sure. She took me to the ER, they said it was gas and sent me on my way with instructions to drink jello water. Fast forward 7 years and J finds me curled up in a ball on the bed, same thing. Eventually the pain subsides. Several months later, after a Sunday afternoon lunch at his parents, the pain returns. Only this time its so bad I won't let him touch me, so we go to the ER. At first the nurse thought I was having a wedding panic attack, but when I told the Dr it felt like someone was stabbing me between my shoulder blades, he said "gallstones". So a few tests later, it was determined the gallbladder had to come out. But the surgeon was booked for a month, and there was no way to get it done pre-wedding and for me to recover enough to go to Cozumel on our honeymoon. So the nurse and I came up with plan. NO FAT. NONE. TOTALLY FAT FREE. And I could go to Mexico, but I had to take pain pills and antibiotics, and if I woke up one morning and the whites of my eye were yellow, then I had to hop the next plane back home because that meant liver failure. Needless to say I was scared to death of any food that had an ounce of fat in it.

~I came home that day and J had thrown away the entire contents of our fridge and pantry and re-stocked with Kristin appropriate foods.

~I called the nurse three days later to ask if this meant I couldn't eat my wedding cake. "Yes" she said "no cake".

~My mother in law called the rehearsal dinner venue and gave them the heads up so they could prepare me a special meal.

~The reception wasn't a problem because there would be salad, veggies and grilled chicken for me.

~But no cake :( I'm still bitter. I was so looking forward to that cake, and the grooms cake too. It was Kahlua flavored.

Three weeks after we returned from our honeymoon, my new husband and mom took me to the hospital for my outpatient surgery to remove the offending gallbladder.

One week later I was given the all clear. So I went to McDonald's. Big mistake. J believes removing my gallbladder is at least half of my problem if not more. I was better off with the no-fat diet than I was sans gallbladder and eating my way across the Midwest fast food chains. He's probably right. The Dr said there is no way to be sure having my gallbladder removed is the culprit, but she does believe its part of the problem.

When I started gaining weight I realized it, so I went to WW, but failed. Then I tried Slim 4 Life, waste of money. Mostly because I traveled, and it was hard to stick to a diet when your are traveling all over for work and the vendors keep taking you to Brazilian Steakhouses.

I did lose about 15lbs on S4L, but then got pregnant, so I couldn't continue with the program. I didn't gain very much weight with L, but then again, I didn't need to. And my Dr never said anything or seemed concerned about my weight.

18 months after L's birth and I weigh more now that I did at my last pregnancy appointment.

The hubby and I went to an informational seminar at the local hospital on LapBand. Turns out my insurance will pay for 1/2 but only if you've been a certain BMI for 5 years or more. I just now hit that BMI, with in the last 6 months. So I'm not really a candidate. Besides that with LapBand you'll only lose 50% of your excess weight. So if you were 100lbs over your recommended weight range, you'd only lose 50lbs.

I think 50lbs should be achievable through diet and exercise. As long as you can stick to it.

So here I am with my 3rd attempt at Weight Watchers. My doctor has also prescribed Phentermine, and will be monitoring me monthly. Phentermine was an ingredient in Fen-Phen, but not the bad one, that gave you ulcers and caused you to lose it. However it is a controlled substance that can be abused, so no refills are authorized unless you see your DR monthly. And you can only take it for 6 months, then must be off of it for 6 months, as to not get addicted to it.

You can read all about it here: http://www.webmd.com/diet/phentermine-for-obesity

Anyway the point is that I'm trying again. My sister gets married in less than a year and all her bridesmaids are skinny Minni's like her. But that's not the only reason I am doing it. We want to be able to get the maximum amount of life insurance you can get, and insurance companies aren't kind to overweight folks. And I want my feet to stop hurting in high heals, and I want to shop at the cool vintage 2nd hand stores that don't carry plus size clothing. And I want to be healthy, so I can be around a long time to watch my baby grow up. And someday have another baby.

Hold me accountable. Ask me how my diet is going. Ask me what I weigh. Ask me if I worked out. Ask me if I've eaten candy, cookies or cake today. Support is what I need, but I also need discipline, and sometimes that discipline can equal hard love. That is fine, that is what I need.